


Farewell Fullmetal

by thefullmetaledwardelric



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-15
Updated: 2014-07-15
Packaged: 2018-02-08 22:45:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1958943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefullmetaledwardelric/pseuds/thefullmetaledwardelric
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They had a contract... they had more... But what happens when Roy decides that maybe it's all been a mistake?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Farewell Fullmetal

The summons hadn’t been anything out of the ordinary. It was common for Roy to send Edward a message asking him to meet with him that evening. There were never any specifics, but then there never needed to be. Roy knew his ‘pet’ knew exactly what would be meant by that, at least by now he would.

But that evening when Edward arrived at the Colonel’s home and made his way to the study as usual… it was very clear that something was amiss. Roy was nowhere to be seen, though it appeared that he hadn’t been gone long. On the desk sat an open book and an empty glass that still held a few remaining shards of ice. The light condensation on the glass was still very much there was well. It hadn’t been abandoned for long, just long enough that any marks left behind by the owner’s fingers had vanished back into the sheen over the glass.

At first Ed wasn’t going to bother with the items, but the nagging feeling that made his stomach knot got the best of him. When he came around behind the desk he noticed that the last thing Roy had been working on was an entry in a journal. It was odd; Ed hadn’t even known that he’d kept one. Looking down, the words seemed shaky and many at the edges were water run ever so slightly. Had that been from the glass, that Ed could now smell as having contained whiskey, or had it been something else? He figured if he read the page before him he’d find his answer but was it really right for him to do so? Roy could be an asshole and a complete bastard but that didn’t mean it gave him the right to read the man’s journal.

But then if you didn’t want it read, you shouldn’t leave it open either…

Sitting in Roy’s chair, Ed leaned over the book before him and began to read the page.

_March 16_

_I’ve been a horrible man yet again, done horrible things. What’s worse is that I’ve dragged Edward down with me this time with my selfishness. All I’ve ever done is hurt and mislead him. Where would he be now if not for me I wonder? He certainly wouldn’t be subjected to this military life and to my own selfish desires. No, he would most likely be studying alchemy in villages across this country, not having to worry about being used by the Military. He may not have had an easier life, but I think he may have had a happier one, him and his brother both. I don’t want to keep him tied to me any longer. I don’t deserve someone as pure as he is, not when my own soul is so stained from years of taking lives I’ll never be able to atone for._

_I wish you were here Hughes. What would you say if you knew about all of this? How I used Edward for my own selfish satisfaction? I think you would have scolded me a hundred times over, maybe even beaten me soundly like you used to when we were at the Academy. As I said, I wish you were here; I could really use your advice._

_But for now, I think the only thing I can do is release Edward from our contract, it’s not fair to anyone and I can’t continue to use him like this even if I have grown to care for him a great deal. I think it is because I’ve grown so attached to him that I need to let him go. Yes, I think it’s time to bring this to an end before I do any more damage to him…_

Ed was left to simply blink at the page in disbelief. Having read the words he realized that the ink bled words were that way because Roy had most likely been crying as he sat here writing this. Something about that made the blond very uncomfortable. What made it worse though was that Roy had blamed himself for the things that he’d been subjected to. Was he more of an idiot than he had always took him for? Roy hadn’t made the choice for him; he’d made it for himself. The only thing Roy had done was make the offer. Ed knew he didn’t have to take it, knew what he was likely to be getting himself into. Sure, this ‘contract’ was unexpected, he hadn’t expected Roy to effectively blackmail him when this had begun… but… that had stopped months ago. At least Ed had thought it had, even with Roy keeping up that entire ‘master/pet’ game with him. That’s what it had become, at least in the sense of it was something they wanted to do, something they enjoyed… Had he been wrong this entire time?

The more he tossed it over in his mind, the angrier Ed became. He wanted to find Roy, deck him for being an idiot. The blond knew he needed to find Roy, talk to him, something… but where would he have gone? Thinking about it a moment, the only solution that he could figure was that he would have gone to Hughes’ grave. He had mentioned him in the entry and how he wished he could talk to him. It was the only thing that made any sense to him. Getting up, Ed hurried out of Roy’s apartment. He figured if he didn’t find Roy at the cemetery, he’d come back here and wait if he had to, but he couldn’t just sit and do nothing right then.

With every hurried step, a near run, Ed’s heart beat hard against his chest, not only from his brisk pace but also from the knot he felt in his stomach. It was actually starting to make him feel slightly ill, but his mind was so focused on finding Roy, he barely noticed it. He would arrive at the cemetery just as the sun was starting to kiss the horizon, the twilight bathing everything in a bright but soft light. As he made his way through the rows of stone markers, Ed kept his eyes open for Roy finally spying him standing on the hilltop looking at the sun as it set.

“Hey!” Ed called as he came up the hill behind him.

Slowly, Roy looked over his shoulder. There was something to the look in those usually sharp and penetrating obsidian eyes, something that instantly unsettled Ed on sight. There was a kind of sadness in his eyes that Ed had never seen before and it seemed so, uncharacteristic, of the man he knew.

“I knew you’d figure it out…” Roy said quietly.

“Figure WHAT out?” Ed barked back as he stood beside Roy now. His brows furrowed in frustration as he looked at the man.

“My journal, if you’re standing here, I can assume you read it…”

“Wait… you PLANNED it this way?”

Roy pulled his eyes away from Ed, looking instead out before him as the shadows of the gravestones on the opposite side of the hill began to grow longer in the setting sunlight. “I wouldn’t have told you to come to my home, not been there when you arrived even though I specifically told you to come, and left my private journal out in the open otherwise Fullmetal,” Roy sighed. “And since you’re here, I’m figuring that you came to speak to me about what you read.”

Ed was just shaking his head. He couldn’t believe any of this. “Yeah, but first of all, why lure me all the way out here? I mean THAT seems kinda stupid, but the things you were spouting in that journal of yours were pretty damn stupid too. Did you drink too much whiskey and hit your head or something?”

“No, no I didn’t,” Roy chuckled sadly. “Everything I wrote I meant Edward. This needs to stop and it needs to stop now. I’ve taken advantage of you far too long…”

As he spoke, the rage in the blond built so much so that he found himself reaching out and grabbing Roy by the lapels of his coat and forcing him to look at him. When their eyes met, distant ink met fierce gold but Roy didn’t seem to budge. No, he’d expected this reaction from the young blond. He had already accepted whatever retaliation Ed would bring on him and no matter what it was, it wasn’t going to change his mind.

“You bastard,” Ed growled as he held tight to Roy’s coat. “You think I’m just going to let you walk away just like that? You think I’m just going to ‘forget’ about the time we spent together just because you have it in your head that… how did you put it?” Ed thought for a moment trying to recall Roy’s exact words from his journal. “Oh yeah, because you think I’m so damn pure and you’re so stained? FUCK YOU ROY! That’s bullshit and you know it!”

As Ed raged, Roy’s face became far less distant and more stone cold. It wasn’t that he WANTED Ed to see him this way, but he knew the only way that Ed was going to accept this is if he thought Roy didn’t give a damn at all anymore, despite what he’d said in his journal. “You’ve known from day one Edward that this wasn’t exactly right, you said so yourself. This was an arrangement, nothing more, and I’m calling it off, simple as that. Besides, I don’t have anything new for you anyway…”

“YOU THINK THIS HAS BEEN ABOUT THE INFORMATION?!” Ed raged, the grip getting tighter on Roy’s coat. “YOU SON-OF-A-BITCH! IF I BELIEVED THAT I WOULD HAVE LEFT A LONG TIME AGO AND YOU DAMN WELL KNOW IT!” He then released Roy’s coat and shoved him back, golden eyes still glaring and fiery with anger. “Don’t stand there and lie to me Roy, you wrote it in your journal yourself… You care about me and you know something, its fucking equivalent, it has been since that night I got pissed at you when you were drunk. Remember that night Roy? I found you in your apartment two sheets to the damn wind and depressed as all hell and you told me THEN it was done… I ran out but came back and passed out at your front door… you remember that? And you brought me inside… You know damn well why the hell I came back that night, why I continued to come back even after the information you passed on started to dwindle. And you damn well why you didn’t just leave me out there… I didn’t give up on you then and you sure as hell better not expect me to do it NOW.”

“Fullmetal… Edward…” Roy started, trying to keep his own expression calm. Of course Ed would throw that night back at him. That had been the night that he’d figured out that what they had was more than just a contract too. “I can and I AM expecting you to respect my wishes and just walk away. You don’t need me distracting you from your goal and I don’t want you distracting me from mine. I’ll still look after you and your brother like I always intended to but I’m not going to do it as your lover, not anymore. I’m going to do it as I SHOULD have all along, as your friend and your commanding officer, nothing more. It’s OVER Edward and nothing you can say will change that.”

Ed stood there, still glaring at Roy, clearly seething but Roy didn’t let it rattle him, on the outside anyway. Inside, that was a different story. All he wanted to do was pull Ed close, hold him against his chest and say it was nothing but a sick, cruel joke but he wouldn’t allow that of himself.

“So that’s it then?” Ed asked, his fists clenched at his sides, the furrow of brow as deep and angry as it possibly could be. “You’re not even going to give me a chance to change your mind? Why the hell did you have to drag me all the way out here then? Why not just do this at your apartment? I mean, you’re so dead set on it, why the game huh?”

“Frankly, you’re loud… and I knew you would disturb my neighbors. The dead can’t hear you yell…” he replied flatly, his eyes coming down to the grave marker beside him. There had been another reason, one far more sentimental. Even if was only in spirit, he’d wanted the support of his best friend when he’d done one of the most difficult things he’d had to do. He and Hughes had always faced the rough stuff together, and Roy hadn’t wanted this to be any different.

The blond huffed and puffed as if he were going to try and rage more but nothing seemed to want to come out. Ed could feel the sting of tears pressing against his eyes but he refused to cry, not in front of Roy, not now. No, Roy didn’t deserve to see him cry.

“Go home Edward…” Roy finally said quietly, his hand coming to rest now on the stone and his gaze turning back to the rows before them. “The only time I’ll ever send for you is when it’s business related and I won’t say a word about any of this. As far as I’m concerned, it never happened. Do you understand?”

“Yeah… I understand perfectly,” Ed replied, his teeth clenched and his voice almost venomous behind those gritted teeth. “Whatever you say COLONEL…”

“Good Fullmetal. Now, as I said, go home…”

Ed lingered for a moment or two longer before deciding it wasn’t worth it to him to try and take a swing at Roy. No, his heart was breaking and he was angry but even with that, he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. With a huff, Ed turned on his heal and walked away, only breaking into a run once he was sure he was out of Roy’s sight, painful tears streaming down his cheeks as he did. He knew he had to get it out before he got back to Al; he didn’t want to lose it again when he explained all of this to his younger brother.

Roy on the other hand, remained standing there beside Hughes’ grave. The hand that was on the stone was tight as the last rays of sunlight slipped into the horizon leaving the Flame Alchemist standing in a pale dusk. His eyes were pressed closed and as he stood there, only a single stream of a tear ran down his cheek. “Damn it Hughes… why does it always seem to rain when I’m standing here?”


End file.
